she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
