I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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