ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So here I am, sexting at work.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
