My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
