peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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