Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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