drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
