She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
