what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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