My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
