Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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