This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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