In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
