The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He felt like a one man threesome
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
