Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
