This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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