just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize