is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
