We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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