i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
