If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
