that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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