I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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