Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
