We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
