i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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