don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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