Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
