If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
