I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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