i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
