wanna go halves on a baby?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
