I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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