You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
