We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
