That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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