I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
