Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
