When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
