I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
