careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
