People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
