After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
