She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize