therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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