im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
