I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
