it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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