I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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