My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I party with great urgency now.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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