were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Randomize
