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I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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