the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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