This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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