just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
