I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
