Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
