He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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