kristin has been a bad kristin
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
