I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
