VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize