I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
