yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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