Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
