Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
